I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
