Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize