people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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