i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
