Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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