she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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