Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
