I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
