Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He did a backflip because drugs
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
