Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
