he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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