You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
