I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
