I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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