Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
