I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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