I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
