take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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