A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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