windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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