I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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