I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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