I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You're earring is so big in my mouth
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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