just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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