You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
