i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
