Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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