Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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