So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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