C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
