i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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