Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
