I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
