Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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