i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
