I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This is my gift to your gina
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
