So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Is it because I queefed?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
