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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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