oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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