Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
