ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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