i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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