that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
