i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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