that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize