Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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