Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
