Me too!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
