Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
