rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
