For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
