how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
