I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
