I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize