The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
