It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
