just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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