Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
