Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
