their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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