She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
