is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She told me I should be a condom model.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
