I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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