Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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